this was an emotional week on the 13.  well, for others and it became so for me in the listening.  it started with the angry mom who has a toddler and a giant, heavy stroller she always slings into the front baggage area (you better lean to your left if you are sitting next to it!)  i have witnessed her before: always stressed, dragging that little boy, reprimanding him to be quiet and SIT!  this time she pulled him into the sideways facing seats in the front of the bus.  another mother with a young girl sat opposite her.  at first, all seemed sweet; they chatted.  as the bus journey got under way, angry mom got on her cell phone.  soon she was yelling and then....  crying and yelling.  her little boy was looking more and more anxious and stressed as she went on with her conversation.  it became apparent that she has another child, a little girl.  she does not have custody due to the fact that her last boyfriend abused this child.  she had just "dragged her son out into the cold" for a supervised visit with her daughter and she just wants her back.  as she wailed, "what else can i do?  what can i do?!!!!  i won't ever have another boyfriend because of the last one!  isn't that GOOD enough?!!!", everyone else on the bus seemed frozen....  except for that mother across from her.  when i tore my eyes away from the back of angry mom's head, i realized that the other mom was singing.  she was singing "open shut them" over and over again.  the little boy was smiling and imitating the motions.  then she began to sing "twinkle twinkle little star", and he was smiling in his seat while his mom wailed and yelled and hurt.  my heart went out to both of those moms.  what made one forget about her little one in her pain and what made the other mindful of both little ones, knowing about pain and the need to distract those little ones from it?  my eyes stung with tears that someone tried to protect innocence.  and the next day....  morning on the 13 and a stop in arctic.  the girl who got on so thin and under dressed.  perhaps her shivering had more to do with her dire straits than with the cold?  she just wanted the money to travel to see her dad who was sick in nh.  not one of her friends would (could?) help.  in her desperation, she shouted about a promised blow job in return for help.  and i thought:  what is going on?  i felt as desperate in knowing that women often bargain themselves in their scramble to get what they need.  how could self respect ever become a commodity?  why should it?  how lucky i am to be able to form and ask and think about such a question.